Amber in Reverse

For a project in Photo II, we were to recreate a famous picture.  I chose to recreate the album cover for The Drug in Me is You album by Falling in Reverse.  I used my friend Amber as the model, bought some fake flowers, ruined Amber's makeup and then stuck her in a locker.  It was an interesting process, and all in all, it ended up being a really good day.  I'm sure Amber has other feelings, but this is my blog so screw her.  Only kidding, of course.  But I think even she had to have had fun.  Any way, these were the ending results.


The original image

And this is my unedited version of it.  I might upload more later.  Loving this!!

Mirror, Mirror

Recently, I've noticed that my self-esteem is finally starting to climb.  I don't doubt myself as much, I'm finally fitting into my own skin, and I'm learning to love myself, inside and out.
I'm teaching myself to love my imperfections.  I'm accepting the fact that my face isn't always clear, my hair will never do exactly what I want it to, and I was born with the face that I have so I might as well deal with it.
I've always, always had insecurities about my body, ever since I was little.  Hitting high school, I finally started growing into a feminine shape, and when I stopped looking like the bony toothpicks I'd grown up with that were labeled "perfect", I started hating my appearance.  I've struggled with weight issues for several years, and now with the help of my friends, I'm finally getting over them.
For the first time, I'm realizing that there is a happy medium between "size 0" and "fat" that I've never seen before.  I'm finally starting to see what people having been telling me all along.
I hate the way this sounds all mushy and cliché so I'm not going to continue with that shit.  All I'm going to say is thank you, everyone who has stuck by through all my drama and bitching these last few years, and that I can't wait to rock my beach bod this summer.

To You

Sometimes, it's hard to remember.
Most times, it's hard to forget.
The scariest part of it all, now,
Is that is seems it will never end.
When dying is second nature,
And depression's a fashion trend,
You crossed out all of my options,
And left me only to pretend.
I promise to be more careful,
And watch the ground where I walk,
If only you promise that next time,
You'll listen when I talk.

Reminiscent

I always knew that at some point, I would look back at my life and nostalgically say, "Damn, I really knew how to party.“  I just never figured that this point would come merely a month after my 16th birthday.  Aren't 16, 18, and 21 supposed to be my wildest years?

So, explain to me why, instead of partying till dawn with my friends, I am spending my Saturday night alone, in the dark, blogging and watching PewDiePie.

I swear, I used to be fun.  I still am.  I still can be.  But I just never do anything!

I AM BORED!

I've been grounded for over a month and I'm about to burst.  I wanna do something!  But it's winter.  In Iowa.  There's not a damn thing to do here, even if I wasn't grounded.

I am a social person.  My people simply cannot survive without hanging out with fellow people!

Someone save me from this pit of Internet that is my lack of social interaction.  I wanna dance, I wanna party, I wanna go to a concert and mosh it up!!

Summer simply can't get here soon enough.

xx
Chelsea Deann

Keep the Faith

So, I was planning to start off this little blog thing with an introduction of sorts, but something a bit more urgent has taken my attention instead.

She herself will probably never see this, but my friend, Faith, is moving to Kansas very shortly and I wanted to make a post dedicated to her.

Faith and I have had our ups and downs (i.e. we weren't each others' biggest fans to begin with) but as soon as we became friends, there was no separating us.  We had the same rollercoaster friendship that everyone has, but it was the fact that we went through these highs and lows together brought us even closer together.  I honestly don't even know what to do without Faith.  It just won't be the same.
Whenever a friend moves or I move away from a friend, we always say "I'll just road trip down to see you!" and we laugh, with tears in our eyes, and then the one moves and we hardly even text.  I told Faith that I'm taking driver's ed this summer and that I'm just going to drive down and stay with her, and this time I'm dead serious about it.  We've survived an entire year at Valley together, and when you go through that with someone, that is a friendship set in stone.

Faith, if you do see this, I love you so freaking much.  You're one of my closest friends, and just because you're moving to Kansas doesn't mean you can get rid of me that easily!  You know how stubborn I am.  We are all going to miss you so much and don't you even pretend that we aren't.

Love ya, darling, and best of luck in Kansas.  I'll be seeing you soon!

xx

Chelsea DeAnn